10 useful things to know about counselling
Going to counselling for the first time can feel like a step into the unknown, to say the least. Therapy crops up time and again in TV series, books, and films, but the sessions we see on TV don’t always have much bearing on the reality! Here are some pointers to bear in mind before you start, to give you more of an idea what to expect.
1. Having the space to talk can feel strange at first
Being really listened to is powerful, but it can take getting used to. Don’t worry if you get to the first session and don’t know exactly where or how to start. Your therapist will help you to unfold your story by asking gentle questions and reflecting with you on what has brought you to therapy.
2. It’s a good idea to give yourself time either side of a session
It seems obvious to say - but therapy is an emotional experience. If at all possible, it’s really good to clear some time around your session, particularly to give you time to decompress afterwards.
3. Not every session will have a dramatic breakthrough (though they can happen)
It’s true that therapy can bring moments of great revelation. Sometimes a moment of clarity can hit you and help you to shift your thinking. But, more often than not, therapy is a process. It’s a gradual movement towards greater understanding of yourself and the choices you have. You’ve spent a lifetime forming your thoughts and patterns - it’s good to give yourself the time and space to untangle them. Keeping a journal after sessions can help you to keep track of your progress.
4. Sometimes, counselling might not feel that enjoyable
If you’ve come for therapy, chances are something has been troubling you. It can take time to unpick, and some uncomfortable feelings might come up for you. But this is all part of the process - it’s like holding the problem up to the light, to help you to see the solution more clearly. If you push through the discomfort (and tell your therapist how you’re feeling - it’s all useful!), you can move forward to a much better place.
5. It’s good to have goals
You might have something specific in mind that you’d like to tackle in your counselling. But don’t worry if not - it can emerge over time and your therapist will help you to figure it out.
6. You don’t need to have lived through a trauma to have counselling
People come to therapy for all kinds of reasons. You might want to process something from your past, make changes in the present, or explore how you can achieve your goals for the future. Like doing exercise for your physical health, therapy can be about maintaining your mental wellness and giving you the tools to deal with what the future holds.
7. Sometimes you might feel annoyed by your counsellor
As well as asking questions, your therapist will help you to reflect on the things that are troubling you, or any unhelpful patterns that are making you feel stuck. They are likely to challenge you now and again, when you’re ready. This can mean facing up to some uncomfortable things - so there are times when you might not like your therapist very much! But that’s okay. Being open about your experience of the sessions is part of the process and can take your conversation to even greater depth.
8. Sometimes you’ll have a laugh with your counsellor
You’ll be discussing the things that are important to you - some of which will be painful - but laughter happens too! At the heart of it, you and your therapist are just two people connecting. Sometimes a shared laugh at the right moment can be just the thing you need.
9. Your counsellor will check in with you about how the sessions are going
Your counsellor wants a good outcome for you, so they will check in with you as you go along to find out how the therapy is going. Your goal may evolve as you go along, or you might find that a particular technique your therapist uses is especially helpful. Knowing these things will help your therapist to keep things on track for you.
10. You can use counselling to try out new ways of being
You can use the sessions to try out different ways of relating to other people. Perhaps you find it hard to be assertive, or to open up to others. Maybe you find yourself defaulting to an unhelpful reaction with certain people in your life. Therapy is a great place to practice for situations like these - your therapist can be your sounding board.
Interested in finding out more?
Please do get in touch if you would like to arrange an initial appointment.
